Being pregnant is an amazing adventure.
There are so many bright sides to pregnancy especially after the heart-wrenching adventure of losing a child before birth. I have no problem with getting pregnant but after four miscarriages, it is obvious that I have a problem keeping my children with me through pregnancy. Which is something I have connected with so many women about, fertility issues. It is so great to have the blessing of a new life growing inside of you. On the other hand, it can be so incredibly hard to delicately maintain those relationships.
Pregnancy is hard!
And that’s okay! Being pregnant is not easy. Your entire body changes to make room for a small human, that you are growing using your own blood and nutrients. It saps your energy screws your hormones and throws you under the metaphorical bus. The first few months you feel like you have never-ending food poisoning. Like you are starving and dehydrated. The second trimester you are in better shape but still dying for some energy you will do anything to get a little extra pick me up without turning to caffeine! I even tried Kale and greek yogurt smoothies! 🤢Yuck! You are tired you are unmotivated and you are trying so hard to keep up with your daily duties, only to crawl your way back to bed at night for some sleep. Sadly in the last few months, you still don’t get that sweet energy you need you are tossing and turning at all hours of the night, getting up to pee two or three times. Not being able to fall into a deeper sleep because junior still wants to be doing somersaults at three in the morning. Your body feels even more uncomfortable with every passing day! The hardest part though is feeling like you can’t talk about it with those around you.
How do you tell somebody suffering from fertility issues, something that you have been so crippled emotionally by, something that is so hard for any woman who has to face, that your pregnancy is hard! It makes you feel so guilty and ungrateful to say. Having struggled myself with four miscarriages, I understand the pain of watching someone be able to do what your body struggles to do. Even saying these things now I am hoping that people don’t view me as ungrateful because I am extremely grateful that God has blessed me with another child to love. Nonetheless, it is so hard to talk about all the downsides of a pregnancy when you can’t talk to some of the people who are closest to you. Sometimes being able to talk openly and honestly is so hard when you want to be sensitive to everyone else’s feelings. It makes you feel lonely.
How to love your friend’s pregnancy!
I know that I could use a lesson here as well. It is hard to be happy for someone who is doing what you can’t. It’s okay to be upset that you are struggling. It’s okay to feel jealous. It is not okay to undermined your friend’s feelings. If someone feels confident enough to come to you and be able to be honest with you about how they are feeling do not make them feel bad about it. Don’t shame them with saying things like “you are so lucky”,”if it was me I wouldn’t be complaining”. This is not okay to be doing if you really feel uncomfortable just be upfront and say I am happy for you but I am not the best person to talk to about this now. You can even love them and show them support if you are at a point in your journey in which you can handle supporting a friend who has had success please do! They need you more than you know!
Love each other.
Love and respect everybody in there life journey! Be supportive! Be respectful! Be aware of your limits! We are all here on this journey of life we might as well be here together!